What Is a Crotch Pocket, and Can You Use it with a Hot Pocket? Would you want to? Many of us are familiar with the food item known as a “Hot Pocket.” We may not have carnal knowledge of Hot Pockets, but we know them by their reputation. What kind of item is a “Crotch […]

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For parents with children using a pacifier (also called binky in certain circles), this new patent might be for you. Finally, a new invention to hold a pacifier in place to avoid having to run to the child’s room every 5 minutes and put the pacifier back in: U.S. Patent No. 9,452,110 for a “Pacifier Holder Assembly and Method.”

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Floyd Mayweather’s Trademarks for B*tchologist and P*ssologist Both Approved by U.S. Patent & Trademark Office Floyd Mayweather’s company, Mayweather Promotions, received approvals from the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office for two trademarks: BITCHOLOGIST and PUSSOLOGIST. At first I thought these trademarks might have been filed by edgy obstetricians or gynecologists, or perhaps just a general […]

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The First and Last Open Mic Night at the North Pole When you look at the cartoon above, your first thought is probably that it would never happen. You’ve never seen a Christmas movie or read a Christmas story about an open mic night for stand-up comedy at the North Pole. But someone should, really. […]

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New Patent for an Automated Boning Machine for Wooden Bats I’ll be honest, the title of this patent just made me laugh. I felt like I was in junior high school again and just laughed. If the title doesn’t make you laugh, that’s ok. But the title should at least make you smile or at […]

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Happy Thanksgiving 2016 from The IP Section Please enjoy my original work of art that I’ve named “Turkey Doing Stand-Up Comedy.” The longer title was “Turkey Dying So Hard Doing Open Mic Night That He Wished He’d Been Eaten at Thanksgiving,” but that seemed too wordy. With respect to my drawing skills, some of you […]

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Luckily I found the perfect patent for Thanksgiving: U.S. Patent No. 8,291,634 for a “Motion decoy system.” This patent describes an invention for hunting turkeys by using a decoy turkey on what appears to be a skateboard. Normally I try to stay positive, but I noticed a number of problems with this invention that I’d like to enumerate.

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Just in time for the 2016 U.S. Presidential Elections, two trademarks were recently published for use with canine waste receptacles (dog poop bags): DEMOCRAP and REPOOPLICAN.

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Utah company Squatty Potty, LLC is known for providing a small stool as a toilet accessory. This small stool is designed to improve your bowel movements. Squatty Potty apparently intends to sell a deodorizer under the trademark SHITRUS.

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Donald Trump attempted to trademark TRUMP for “toilet water” in the 1990s. The trademark application was filed in December of 1995. The original trademark application was filed for the following goods: “perfume, toilet water and cologne.” To be fair, the intention of the “toilet water” was probably meant to cover types of perfume sometimes referred to as “eau de toilette.”

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